So, I've been feeling a bit lost recently. I know it happens to a lot of people, but it has never happened to me before. Everything just seems meaningless. I think it probably has something to do with my whole world being turned on its head because I'm moving from the USA to England in two weeks time.
Anyway, I went camping with seven other people, and one of them had some acid. I thought it would be a good idea to do it, because we were in a beautiful area, and I hoped that I would have a spiritual revelation, and also that it would inspire my writing or art. It didn't do either of these things. Instead it made my whole world look like it was made of paisley for 12 hours, made me think all kinds of stupid crap was funny, and made my depression even worse.
Don't get me wrong, I saw some beautiful things; the sea made up of thousands of waving hands, trees growing in front of my eyes, and the concrete bathroom floor transformed into engraved curlicues, were just a few examples. Unfortunately, it also made my miserable, cowering, questioning self-demon even more powerful. I did finally understand postmodernism though; I realized that since everything has been done before, people have given up trying to make anything beautiful or good.
Hopefully I'll figure something out soon, or alternatively give up and buy a house in the suburbs and start popping out babies. I'll let you know.
Yours in lostness,
Anonyma
